


Keep Breathing

by bakamermaid



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Bleeding Out, Car Accidents, Death, M/M, Narrator Death, POV First Person, POV Marco Bott, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 08:58:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5199929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakamermaid/pseuds/bakamermaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm bleeding out. No hope. My time is limited.<br/>The phone keeps ringing. Jean.<br/>He can't know I'm dying. I can't tell him. I don't want this to be the last memory he has of me.<br/>But I need to hear his voice...<br/>One last time...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep Breathing

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fORAPkfVV_A) song.

I gasp awake.

I breathe heavily filling my lungs with as much air as possible. It hurts, everything hurts. My body feels sore, limp.

_Falling…_

I’m in my car, though it’s hard to tell since it’s completely dark. Nothing can be seen. Not even the moon since the snow storm is covering it. A few bits of snow flutter on my skin making me shiver, _one of the windows must be broken._  

I feel around the door in search for the handle, when I yank on it, it doesn’t budge. I reach for the steering wheel and try to honk but it doesn’t work. I lean my head back against the seat and try to control my breathing. _I fell._ I recall. _The car slid off the hill on my way back home from the hospital._

I lean forward and look up. I can’t see the hill.

I lean my head back, my pulse accelerates. _Breathe,_ I remind myself. _You’re a doctor. You know what to do._

I shakily move my hands around myself to feel for any injuries. I manage to find a few broken ribs, my left arm is broken, and I’m covered in glass and blood. My head keeps spinning so I probably have a concussion.

I yank hander on the door, but it still won't budge. I make to kick the door, but my leg doesn’t move. I stiffen. _I can’t feel my leg._ My breathing accelerates.

My hands clamber to my leg.My pants are drenched in blood _._ My hands bump against a large piece of metal. _It’s pierced through my leg_. My body starts to shake. I pinch my leg. Nothing.

"Fuck!" I croak. My blood began to boil and my breathing became desperate.

_It pierced my femoral artery. I lost my leg._ The body freezes. _I’m bleeding out._

I shift in my seat and bang loudly on the door. _Someone? Help me._

I look around me for something to tie on my leg and control the bleeding. Nothing. I bang at the door and start yelling, crying out for help. _Who’s gonna hear you in this storm?_ I reach inside my shirt pocket for my phone. I start to dial the emergency number but then stop. _It’d be too late by the time they find you. Calm down or you’ll accelerate the process. Breathe…_

I lean my head back, and tears start streaming down my face. _This is it…_

After rupturing the femoral artery, it takes about 5 minutes before the patient bleeds out. Little can be done for patients who rupture it.

_This is it…_ I clamp my hand on my mouth and sob. “Please!” I cry out. “I don't want to die… I’m not ready.”

Time passes by. How much? I don’t know. I eventually stop sobbing. My heartbeat starts to decelerate and my body starts to feel warm. It can’t be too long now…

The ringing of my phone makes me jump. I look at the bright screen.

**_Jean_ **

_Jean… he must be wondering why I’m not home yet._

I can’t answer the phone. There's no hope for me anyway, and I don’t want Jean to know what’s happening. Not yet. I can’t make him go through that.

The phone stops ringing.

I look at Jean's contact picture. It's a selfie I took of us celebrating his 24th birthday. We were both wearing birthday cones. I'm making a weird face and Jean is laughing. I smile. _I can’t believe it’s been 7 years since then…_ I cough and blood squirts all over the phone I rub my finger across Jean's face, smearing blood across it. 7 years, and there's no one I love more than that beautiful, wonderful boy. _And you won’t see him again…_

I start to weep. _Jean…_ I hyperventilate. _I’m so sorry… I’m gonna lose him… my beautiful boy… It’s not possible… Not possible… I need to hear him… One more time… Please!_

The phone starts ringing again. He can’t know, I won’t do that to him… but I need to hear his voice again, before I go. I have to. One last time.

I click the answer button. “Jean?” I whimper.

"Jesus, Marco! Where the hell are you? I’ve been worried sick!" I hold the phone away and try to control my breathing. _This is the last time I'll hear this voice, but I can't let him know that. I can’t._

"Sorry," I sniff. “I stayed at the hospital, the storm is pretty bad.”

“Are you okay? You sound really shaky.”

My body starts too feel warm. _Not yet._ "Yeah, I’ve been running all over the place. I’m fine."

"Wait, so you're not gonna be here for a while?"

My eyes start stinging. _I’m so sorry, Jean. So, sorry…_ "No."

"Damn it.” he curses “I spent the last 4 hours making that one chicken pasta you like so much. I was just about to finish. Thanks a lot asshole."

Silent tears escape my eyes, but I try to keep my voice even. "I'm sorry"

He sighs. "Well maybe it's for the best since running around the ER has you sounding like you just ran a marathon.” He scoffs. “From now on, you're on a strict salads only diet young man."

"Okay" I breathe. A sense of calm flows through me and my heartbeat slows down. My body is losing it’s energy, it’s going limp. _Not too long now…_

We both stay quiet for a bit. “Marco,” Jean sighs, “if something--” A clatter is heard on the other line. “God fucking damn it!” Jean curses. “Your freaking cat just spilled all the pasta sauce!” He groans. “I gotta go, she’s running around the house with dirty paws.” _No, please, don’t go..._ I want to stop him but don’t have the energy to speak. “I gotta go, I’ll call you in like 5 minutes.” _No… Wait…_

“I-I lo— _“_ He hangs up. My arm limps and the phone clatters on the floor. My head falls back against my seat. “love you…” I whisper. A tear escapes my eye.  

My eyelids start to feel heavier.

_Jean…_ My body goes limp. _I’m not scared anymore._ My breathing decelerates. _Goodbye, Jean._ The pain is gone, it’s not cold anymore. I’m completely at peace. _I’m ready now…_

From the corner of my eye I see a light approach.

_Lights..._

Faint sounds can be heard.

_People…?_

Flashlights.

_They’re here… Help is here. Keep breathing…_

They come closer, almost to my door…

_Keep breathing… They’re almost here… Hope… Jean…_

I fight to keep my eyes open.

_Keep breathing…_

My vision blurs, filling my eyes with bright colors.

_Keep breathing…_

My heart skips beats.

_Keep breathing…_

”There’s someone in here!”

_Keep brea—_

**Author's Note:**

> I have a [tumblr!!](http://bakamermaid.tumblr.com/)


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